It's Just A Biology Assignment!
by bralliex
Summary: In which Brandon and Callie attempt to finish a biology assignment and everyone misunderstands. (brallie one-shot)


**A/N: This one-shot was inspired by true events, in other words I actually had this biology assignment. My apologizes if the assignment itself doesn't make much sense, it deemed more complicated to explain then I had originally thought it would be.**

* * *

 **CALLIE**

Callie Jacobs looked down at the piece of paper in her hand, scanning it over to make sure that she hadn't made any mistakes. It was a biology assignment, to be more specific it was a biology assignment in which the directions were to make a baby...no not like _that._ In class that day the instructions had been to complete a table that listed various traits, such as face shape, hair type, eye color, and position of eyebrows. Then, it listed the various genotypes an individual could have, such as whether your face shape was round (Rr) or square (rr). Finally, in the last column you selected your specific genotype and placed the appropriate letters in the table to match.

Once the table was completed Callie had transferred her various traits, brown eyes (AABb), fair skin (Aaaaaaaa), eyelash length (Ll), gender (XX), and the rest of the seventeen other possible traits onto paper 'chromosomes.' After cutting the 'chromosomes' out Callie had folded them so she now had twenty-two folded pieces of paper in front of her. The pieces of paper were supposed to represent her entire genetic make-up, and what traits she would pass down to her future children.

The final step was to pair up with a partner in class and find out what would happen if she were to have a baby with them. Luckily for Callie her boyfriend, Brandon Foster, happened to be in her biology class, and she happened to live at his house (long story), so the young couple was able to complete their assignment that afternoon.

That is, if Brandon Foster would finish folding his fake chromosomes.

"Brandon, what is taking you so long?" Callie whined, looking across the kitchen table at her boyfriend. Brandon kept his gaze fixed on the growing mass of small pieces of paper beside him, not bothering to look up as he replied.

"Scissors are a threat to man-kind," he mumbled.

Callie rolled her eyes, "What does that even mean?" she asked, her tone rich with amusement. "Actually," she corrected. "I don't want to know. Just hurry up. We have other, _more complicated_ homework to do."

"It takes a lot of effort and hard work to make a baby," Brandon said with a smirk, and when Callie gave him a look of displeasure he handed her a scissors. "Just help me cut these out." Callie groaned, but dutifully reached for the scissors and began cutting out the individual paper chromosomes.

With both of them tackling the task the rest of the chromosomes were cut in less than five minutes. They were ready to 'make a baby.' Callie pulled a second sheet of paper from her folder, and set it down onto the table. It was similar to the table that had listed her genetic make-up; however, now instead of inputting her traits into the table, she would be inputting the traits of Brandon and her potential babys'.

The traits of their child would be determined by each of them flipping a chromosome in the air and writing down the two letters that came face up. If there was a capital letter, or a dominant gene, their baby would have the trait in question, if there was a lowercase letter, or recessive gene, the baby would not.

"Okay, let's do number one," Callie reached for the chromosome marked with a one, and Brandon did the same. "This determines whether our baby has a round face or a square face. Capital R with a lowercase r is round, and two lowercase r's is square."

"One, two, three!" Brandon exclaimed over enthusiastically, as the pair threw the pieces of paper into the air. Brandon's landed on r, and Callie's did the same. "Looks like our baby has a square head," Brandon said and Callie marked rr onto the table.

The flipping of chromosomes went on for awhile, until Brandon and Callie had determined their future baby would have a square-head, a cleft in their chin (or 'buttchin' as Brandon liked to call it, much to Callie's dismay), curly hair, fair skin, and bushy eyebrows.

The next trait on the list was the position of the eyebrows.

"I got a lowercase n," Brandon said after flipping chromosome marked with number six.

"So did I," Callie reached for the piece of paper and let out a groan as she read what nn meant in reference to eyebrow position. "Our babies eyebrows are connected," she told Brandon, causing him to snatch the paper from her hand.

"Our baby has a _unibrow?!"_ His expression of utter disbelief caused Callie to laugh. "This _cannot_ be happening."

"It's just a homework assignment, no need to get so invested," Callie teased.

"How can you say that, Cal. This is our offspring, our legacy, and he has a _unibrow!"_ Brandon dramatically fell to the kitchen floor, before scrambling back into his seat. "I will love him regardless," he decided seriously.

"One, this isn't a real child and two, he is not a _he._ We haven't flipped for the gender yet," Callie reminded him, adding with a slight smirk. " _And_ I think it's a girl."

"Oh yeah?" Brandon's tone was playfully challenging. "Who's the one getting invested now?"

"Shut up," Callie mumbled, extending her hand across the table in an attempt to shove Brandon. Unfortunately she wasn't quick enough, and he caught her hand with his own.

"Callie Quinn Jacobs," his voice grew serious, and Callie tried to ignore the fact that her heart began to flutter and she could feel her face growing warm. "It would be my absolute honor to make a baby with you," Brandon finished, all seriousness gone.

"God, gross Brandon! That sounds so wrong!" Callie exclaimed, successfully shoving him that time, granted he didn't move very much, she wasn't the most forceful person on the planet...to say the least.

Brandon just grinned.

Callie moved her gaze from his, because god he was attractive, and she wasn't going to get any work done if she kept looking at him, and they really did need to finish the assignment. Far too many of their study sessions had ended in them making out, and they needed to break that habit...though admittedly a part of her didn't want to.

After a few more minutes of flipping their paper chromosomes and shouting out the various letters that landed right side up, Callie and Brandon had been able to determine the majority of the traits their future baby would have. Personally, Callie was more than relieved that if she and Brandon ever did decide to have children, they probably would not carry the same traits that were expressed in the game.

Callie knew she'd love her future son or daughter regardless of how they looked, but some of the traits their 'fake baby,' had were, to put it simply, not very flattering to think about. She had decided to primarily blame Brandon, because he was the one who kept flipping upper-case letters, which, being dominant, kept beating out Callie's recessive ones.

Their baby now not only had a square head, 'butt-chin,' curly hair, fair skin, bushy eyebrows, and a unibrow, but it also had a widows peak, far-apart, small, straight, round eyes, large lips (Brandon credited himself for giving their child that trait, to which Callie protested, to which he then offered to 'show her,' to which she quickly declined. They really had to get work done). Then it was determined the baby had thick lips, a large nose, freckles, attached earlobes, brown hair and green eyes.

"Wow," Brandon said after looking over the current traits of their baby. "Our baby is ugly."

"Brandon!" Callie exclaimed, "You can't say that!"

"Well it's true!" Brandon protested. "I mean far-apart, small eyes? What does that even mean. A large nose? Big, thick lips-"

"I thought you liked that about his lips?" Callie asked, rolling her eyes for the hundrenth time that afternoon.

"I like that _I_ have nice lips, or, rather _you_ like it," Brandon wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"God, you can be so annoying sometimes," Callie grumbled, turning back to the paper. "I don't think these traits are _that_ bad..."

"Cal, our baby has a butt-chin and a unibrow, can it get any worse?" Brandon walked around the table and took the vacant seat beside Callie, that normally belonged to Jude. After a few moments of silence he added, "On the bright side I'm glad we're in the same class. I mean, can you imagine if I'd had to have a baby with Tayla?" Brandon chuckled at the thought.

"Well, I could've picked Wyatt and then maybe my baby wouldn't have a unibrow," Callie teased.

"I don't think Mariana would've been too down with you have a baby with her boyfriend," Brandon teased back. "Besides, I'm not the one with the unibrow so it must have come from you."

"I do not have a unibrow!" Callie exclaimed, her hands immediately going to cover her eyebrows and Brandon just laughed.

"Only kidding," he responded, placing a kiss on her cheek. "You're cute when you're angry."

Callie blushed, quickly switching her attention to the final page of the packet of papers in an attempt to prevent Brandon from seeing her so flustered. "Okay, we're almost done. We just have to flip for the sex of the baby, and then we have to draw it-"

"We have to draw our baby?" Brandon clearly hadn't heard this was part of the assignment. "I suck at drawing!"

"Come on, we'll worry about the drawing later. Let's flip for the gender." Callie reached across the table for the final two paper chromosomes.

"There's really no need, I already know it's a boy," Brandon said confidently.

"And I know it's a girl," Callie matched his confidence. "After all, I'm the one carrying this child." She grinned at Brandon, deciding to go along with the stupid game just to please him.

Brandon's eyes lit up, "Do we get to name him?" He asked innocently.

"We can name _her,_ but first we should really flip for-" Callie started.

"How about Carter?! Or Will? Or maybe William sounds more sophisticated. I mean our baby will need a good name if he's gonna have all these wacky looks." Brandon rambled. "Of course this will have to be a mutual decision-"

"Excuse me, I'm the one carrying the kid. I should get to name her," Callie joked, poking Brandon in the side.

"Fine. As long as the baby gets my last-name," Brandon decided, his eyes suddenly widening. "Oh my god, Callie!"

"What?" Callie was startled by his sudden outburst.

"We're having a baby out of wedlock!" Brandon sounded mortified.

"Oh my god, you are so nineteen-sixties!" Callie laughed.

Suddenly a loud gasp was heard from outside the kitchen, and the pair looked up to find Mariana racing into the kitchen. The younger girl looked absolutely mortified.

"Hold up, who's pregnant?" She exclaimed, her expression that of pure astonishment.

"We're just making a baby," Brandon said as though it made perfect sense. Callie closed her eyes at his response. _Good one, Brandon. That clears things up so much._ She thought, though his dorky demeanor was slightly endearing.

"Callie's pregnant?!" Mariana's voice rose to a shrillness that caused Callie to wince slightly. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Mariana began pacing the kitchen, and before Callie could explain the situation and correct her sister, the rest of the Adams-Fosters had arrived home from school and were occupying the kitchen, Stef and Lena included.

"Mari, what's wrong?" Stef asked as she set her bag down on the table.

"Callie's pregnant!" Mariana blurted. She never was one to keep a secret, not that there was any secret to be kept. It was just a biology assignment.

"I'm not-" Callie started.

Jude looked like he was at a loss for words, his gaze switching between Brandon and Callie and then back again, as if trying to wrap his head around the idea that Brandon had impregnated his sister.

"Well, shit." Was all Jesus could manage.

"When did this-?" Lena started, looking shocked.

"Haven't we told you again and again to use a goddamn condom?!" Stef exploded. "I mean we literally keep condoms in the bathroom! It's not like we're asking you to buy them yourselves! I cannot believe you two. Teen pregnancy can ruin your life! You can forget about college, you can forget about even finishing high school-" Stef was cut off by Lena's placing a hand on her shoulder. "What?" She turned angrily towards her wife.

"Let them explain," Lena urged, though clearly she was not excited with the news.

"We're not," Callie paused. " _I'm_ not pregnant."

"That is so not true," Mariana retorted. "I was standing out in the front hallway for like five minutes! I heard it all. They're trying to guess the gender and everything, which means she's definitely at least twelve weeks, and that's a long time-"

"She's not pregnant," Brandon confirmed. "We're just making a baby!"

"That's _not_ how you should put it," Callie mumbled beside him.

"You're trying for a baby?" Lena sounded confused. "But, why? Why would you ever...?"

"I cannot believe you two!" Stef was the angriest Callie had ever seen her, and Callie decided she had to clear everything up quickly, before Stef exploded or ran Brandon over with a truck or something. Callie couldn't put either of those things past her, she was unpredictable when she was upset. Callie would know, considering how Stef had acted when she'd revealed her feelings for Brandon. Long story short, Callie did not wish to relive that experience.

"What Brandon means to say is, we're making a baby for a school assignment." Callie held up the sheets of paper. " _It's fake_ ," she added, just to make sure the message was clear.

"What the hell kind of school assignment is this?" Stef snatched the papers from Callie's hands.

"It's for biology, two people pair up and simulate making a baby with paper chromosomes." Callie explained, a look of amusement crossing her face as she took in the expressions of the Adams-Fosters. Jesus looked confused, Jude looked relieved, Mariana looked slightly disappointed in the lack of drama, Lena looked like she was about to faint and Stef still looked annoyed, though admittedly less angry than she had been moments prior.

"I don't know what you're talking about, mom." Brandon spoke up from beside Callie. "This is clearly how babies are made." Callie slapped a hand over his mouth, as Stef shot him a wary look.

"Not helping," Callie shot her boyfriend a look.

To which, he just grinned.

"I think we'll go finish this upstairs," Callie decided, it was clear the moms needed time to recover from nearly hearing their son had gotten their daughter pregnant (another long story). Callie took the papers from Stef, placing them in her left hand, taking Brandon's hand in her right, before dragging him towards the stairs.

" _Wait!_ Don't leave your sex chromosomes on the kitchen table!" Stef called, before frowning and correcting herself. "I cannot believe I just said that. My god, _clean this up_." Callie and Brandon quickly scrambled to gather the small slips of paper. "I need a hard drink," Stef continued. Lena was already taking wine glasses down from the cupboard. "I do not want to picture you two having children," Stef added half to herself. Callie bit her lip, and exchanged a glance with Brandon. She couldn't help but feel slightly hurt, she'd thought Stef and the rest of the family had been slowly coming around to the idea of her and Brandon as a couple. To know that Stef didn't want to picture a future in which they had kids, well, that hurt. "At least not anytime soon," Stef finished and Callie couldn't help but grin and throw her arms around the older woman.

"I love you!" She exclaimed, gasping slightly when Brandon joined in on the hug.

"Don't worry, mom. One day we'll have plenty of babies to drive you and mama crazy," he promised. At that Callie withdrew from the hug, and aimed a punch at Brandon's shoulder. However, despite this display of annoyance the brunette couldn't help but inwardly smile at the idea of one day having a family with Brandon. That didn't sound like a bad idea at all.

"Emphasis on one day," Stef joked, though Callie could tell it was a slight warning.

Brandon nodded in confirmation, before he slipped his hand back into Callie's. "Come on," his eyebrow wiggling had returned. "Let's go make a baby upstairs."

"I swear to god if you-" Callie started.

"Shall we go to my room? Most babies are made in a bedroom-" Brandon led her from the kitchen.

"Seriously shut up!" Callie groaned as they headed up the stairs.

"Don't pretend you don't want to make a baby with me!"

"Not if you keep acting like this I won't."

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never-"

"Shut up, Beethoven!"

From their spot in the kitchen Stef and Lena turned to one another. Lena handed her wife one of the wine glasses she'd taken from the cupboard, studying the expression on the blondes face. It was one that, despite over ten-years of being together, Lena couldn't quite place.

"What is it?" Lena asked.

"How did we ever almost prevent that from happening?" Stef murmured, referring to the relationship her son had with her daughter, the one she had considered to be so wrong for so long.

"I'll never know." Lena admitted, her lips turning upward into a smile.

"They'll make some stinking cute babies one day," Mariana piped up from behind.

Although it was still weird to think about, both the moms knew they would.

And truthfully, despite what they'd said, they couldn't wait.

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 **If you enjoyed this I have other brallie fanfics on my page (they are much more normal than this one was).**

 **~Vivian**


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